Good Friday Agreement 2.0

The Good Friday Agreement 2.0 (For Entrepreneurs, Digital Innovators, and Creatives)

Not so far back in our recent history -Northern Ireland as a nation stood a top of the World. AS a Nation we embarked on a new journey, a new freedom. On that day in history NI stood looking down on tomorrow, looking down on our future together and dreaming of how one day our children would one day play together in peace.

As a nation we forgot the past, we engaged in a freedom of speech and movement, a flow of ideas, we reached a new level of interaction, a new level of involvement. Sides we thought would never meet, met, they talked, they began to dance to the same tune, legend has it that their was a even a chuckle or two (see below)

We swapped dynamite for democracy, attrition for accord, and deep seated hatred for convivial intercourse.

I sit here a member of perhaps the most marginalised community on the 'Island of Ireland'. You see (I am almost afraid to say it out loud). ...I am a 'Proddypreneur' an Entrepreneur born of the 'Mystical East' (that Oscar Wilde spoke of in such a positive fashion) while I am at it I may as well come clean -you see as well as being tarred with the brush of Protestant Entrepreneurship I am as well a Communicator and a 'Starter' (see below) I said it!

Unfortunately for me Protestant Entrepreneurship is by far the most marginalised community on the 'Island of Ireland'. You see like the Jedi of the 'Old Republic' we live as hermits, shying away from the limelight, away from the publicity, knowing that one loose word, one slip of the tongue could cost us what little funding we receive effectively snuffing out our 'digital flame'. You see the Proddypreneur is a dying breed, for years we have been hunted down by the Bureaucratic armies, by the consultants (see below)', by the facilitators (see below)

So now I ask you on our most historic of Birthdays, of New Dawn days -is it not time that we as a nation took up arms against the oppression,the tyranny, against the bureaucrats (see below) , the consultants (think  C 3PO only less shiny...infact a lot duller) ,Against the 'PDF Downloads' and the Endless 'Explain your vision for a Brighter Tomorrow in 100 words or less -But where to start?

Let's start by bringing the 'Tick Boxers' (see below) and the Innovators together, let's remove the Evil of the coffee and the voluvents and abolish once and for all the mindless drivel of the '86ers'! (see below)

Let's Live our Tomorrow Today! By indulging in truly meaningful dialogue and not mindless drivel about the benefits of the 'Knowledge Economy' (see below) Let's retrain the 'Tick Boxers' with new more meaning full skills. And....

Just for once let's if the Burecrats and the Entrpreneurs can indeed dance to the same tune.

#Chuckle -None of Northern Irelands ruling parties were available for comment on this matter. 

#'Proddypeneur' A shy and recently become endangered species who's natural habitat can be found in the east.

#Starter -a new breed of Entrepreneur covered so well by Jason Fried and the book 'Rework'

#Consultants 'know 40 ways to have sex -but don't know any women' Easy to spot, dull grey suits with matching ties, two children at University studying Law and Economics and youngest child finishing their A Levels. Drives a 2005 Mercedes (diesel) and plays golf twice a week. (easily confused with bureaucrats)

#Facilitators -like 'dictators' only lacking direction. Easily recognised by their comments 'sounds challenging' and some shite about 'integration', 'interactivity' 'involvement' and no facilitator is complete without 'Involvement' and 'Empowerment'

#'Tick Boxers' really needs no explaining.

#86ers  Self appointed experts. Who are still allowed to talk in public. The reason they are called the 86 ers is because they have been banging on about the same auld drivel since 1986. And worse still they get paid too. On closer inspection it becomes obvious that the reason they haven't amended their slides is either because their son hasn't yet returned from Uni or that they can't actually use PowerPoint '95. Easy to spot hanging with the bureaucrats and the consultants saying things like 'my wife doesn't understand me'

#'Knowledge Economy' a term used mainly by our local politicians when they haven't got a clue about the industry they are there to speak about. Can also cleverly be used to cover up yet another call centre.

# 'Volauvent Boys' a collective term describing a group of Bureaucrats, facilitators, consultants and 86ers (see above)

Comments

[Cimota]

Speaking as a "Facilitator" and one of the Volauvent Boys, I must say thanks for breaking down the mystery :P

[philip]

too many volauvents doesn't make you a bad person